| one update per semester i guess. and in five months, i won't be in this town anymore thank god. i choreographed a show and i performed in a show and i dyed my hair brown and dyed it back to red. i ate many grapefruits and drank two beers and had one random-ish fling and loved my proxy family of friends and that was that. ready to go home now. |
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| home for two seconds before i move back to decatur for the final round. two seconds meaning three days. with mic. tape on my neck and the fear of god in me. we don't turn on the air conditioning here. we DO have a barnes and noble and a starbucks in old bolingbrook now. i would have been a happy teenager had that existed in 2000. in other news. i might have gone on a date yesterday. and by date i mean, i spent nine hours with someone i hadn't seen since "the full monty" last august. and didn't get tired of him (miraculous). we managed to cram 1/3 of a lifetime into one day, which was a feat, and a breakneck one at that. "i'll meet you there." "okay." lunch, walking, botanical gardens, walking, zoo, walking, argo tea (love), walking, library, walking, bookstore, the balls of my feet are bruised and my hair is in a ponytail and my shoulders are pink by now and it' getting late and all of the lights on michigan avenue are green. all of them. wait...yellow. wait...red. and he has nice wrists aand he's an expert handholder and an unobtrusive first kisser. he's learning greek right now and he's decided to go back to school (can someone tell me what a masters in divinity would entail?). so he's a little old for me (27?). so i might not see him for a while (schedules!). but it was a good day. which i needed so. so. much.. eeek. |
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| i keep having the same dream- that someone i love is giving me heart attacks. as if they're contagious. i spend time with a person in my unconsciousness and- bang - heart failure. i wake up with a heart going breakneck speed in my windowless bedroom and think to myself- "come on. you have got to stop trying to kill me when i'm trying to sleep." the other day i woke up from that dream with a nosebleed and my lips bitten raw and a stark feeling coming in through the walls. it was disconcerting. love is a crisis, isn't it? the waves never seem to break at the right time. and there's this new fear of bridges. and there's this new penchant for driving out to long grass and stopped trains. not knowing whether its more dangerous to dodge the monarch butterflies or to keep driving in rain when your windshield wipers don't work. |
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| i've taken a turn for the clumsiest. i trip a lot. i get cous cous burns. i spill coffee all over myself when i step outside. i've also taken to perching on rooftops. and i don't feel bad about the fact that i'm no good at children's theatre, and my personification of a spider might be horrible. |
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